3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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