Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
