i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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