I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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