My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
