imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
How's work?
Spinning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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