so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
