Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
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