After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You can't special order awesome
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
