Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
