We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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