96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
