Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
