before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
