im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
