Sponge bath it is.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
