Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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