that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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