Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
