My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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