Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
