Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
