Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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