No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
