marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
