I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
