Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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