so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize