so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
