I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
