did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
