Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
