Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize