Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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