he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
