why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
