He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
