she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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