my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
