Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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