he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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