Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
