Do you still have your period?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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