The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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