??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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