this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
