That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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