If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
