how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
