Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's blow job season.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
