i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
