hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
