no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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