I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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