Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
