i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
