why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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