in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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